It was announced yesterday that David Bentley has graduated with honours from Tottenham University.
For just over the last year, he had been studying “Career Sabotage” at this renowned school for this particular qualification and upon graduating, not satisfied with just the cap tossing tradition he also crashed his car into a lamp post and got himself the obligatory drink drive charge to truly cement his place as a top Hotspur graduate.
Bentley said after the ceremony “When I first came to Tottenham I had some doubts I would be able to hit the incredible heights already set by past scholars, such as Rebrov or even Bent. But everyone knows if you’re a talented footballer and your aim is to truly succeed in ruining your career there is one place above all others to achieve that goal ….. Tottenham Hotspur”.
A teary eyed Patricia Bentley, David’s mother, said “I’ve never been prouder of my Boy then I am today. He had always had an interest in this career path, even as far back as at Arsenal Primary School – and today is the justification for all of his past endeavours”.
David Bentley also had thanks for his previous institute, “I wouldn’t be here without the foundation I received while studying at Blackburn. A particular highlight was withdrawing from the England Under 21 squad – that was really the first time the neutral fans could see the potential I had. However as time went on I found myself dismayed at the press I was beginning to receive, to the point of being lauded as the successor to David Beckham in the international set up. I knew at this point I had lost my way and once Ramos had offered me a place to study in North London the time was right to move on”.
Notably present at the after party was David’s present tutor Harry Redknapp, taking time out from sending prospectus’ to perspective new students in this busy transfer window “Obviously my speciality previous to taking the reigns at Spurs had been Club Sabotage, so it was certainly a challenge to adapt to ruining individual careers and not just complete football clubs. But today I’m taking just a little bit of David’s success for myself. I’m pleased for the lad, he didn’t have it all his own way – there were certainly a few tricky moments, when that injury time goal went in against Arsenal it would of been enough to knock anyone’s confidence. Luckily for David, we had Keane, Chimbonda and Defoe return to repeat the year after failing the Career Sabotage course in the past, and they really helped in pointing him the right direction – and what a fantastic turn around he has achieved”.
So what next for the man with his best days now seemingly behind him? Perhaps a masters degree in advanced sabotage at Wolves or Stoke City is on the cards? But whatever happens the height he has set the bar at today will really take some beating …… even at Tottenham.
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