Nick Griffin Demands That 85% of the Premiership “Bogs Off Home”


Odious cyclops Nick Griffin today used his controversial appearance on the BBC’s Question Time as a platform to suggest that “85% of the Premiership should fuck off to where they came. I’m not a racist…..” said the clear racist, “I just believe that unless you speak the Queen’s English and look like a member of Take That you should bog off to whatever backwater shit hole spewed you out so you can die like a wounded, foreign looking dog.”

The mad, squinty eyed goose stepper then explained, whilst smiling unconvincing to the audience like an estate agent, a racist estate agent no less:

“I believe the Premiership should belong to Britain’s indigenous footballer, good old-fashioned players like Robbie Mustoe, Brett Ormerod and Andy Linighan. Oh those were the days! I can’t believe we’ve let our beautiful white game be ruined by the likes of Thierry Henry, Didier Drogba, Fastino Asprilia and that greasy wop Christiano Ronaldo. Poor old Lee Bowyer hardly gets a game anymore! Did my Father die in a war so people could watch the world’s elite contaminate our footy pitches? I think not.”

Fortunately it appears that the game’s elite has rallied against Mr Griffin’s lunacy. Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson tweeted shortly after the show that “If Mr Griffin is feeling nostalgic for the good old days’ he can fook off to League Two and watch two teams packed full of trusty Brits punting hopeful long balls to each other on a water logged pitch – Darren says they’ve always spare tickets.”

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger also dismissed Mr Griffin’s outburst stating that “as Theo Walcott and Kieran Gibbs don’t pass his Englishness/whiteness test that would leave me with just Jack Wilshire for Sunday’s game against West Ham. Would Mr Griffin want to watch that? Whilst it’d appease his racist sensibilities it’d also be the dullest draw he’s ever seen.”

Bizarrely Crab Football could only find one Premiership footballer who shared any of Mr Griffin’s sentiments…. El Hadj Diouf, who had some choice words for team mates David Dunn, Paul Robinson and Vincenzo Grella.

“These white boys are lazy,” said Diouf whilst skillfully defecating on a ball boy.

Copyright 2009 Crab Football. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. This is fictional.


3 responses to “Nick Griffin Demands That 85% of the Premiership “Bogs Off Home”

  1. Well your website alan is a trolling website… So I ain’t falling for the bait!

  2. nick griffen- war a legend

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