Jack Wilshire: reasonably good footballer


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You can can forgive Arsenal fans for getting carried away with Sunday’s 3-0 over Rangers, it’s almost like they’ve been starved of success for years. Not only did they collect their first first and last piece of silverware for the season in the form of the Emirates Cup, causing some fans to celebrate like it was 1999, but they also had the opportunity to drool over their best youth player since team captain Cesc Fabregas, 17 year old sensation Jack ‘I’m pretty handy me’ Wilshire.

In fact Mr Wilshire’s performance was so good on Sunday that an irritated Arsene Wenger was forced to tell those attending the post match press conference to “Calm the fuck down” and “Shut the hell up” as hacks and fans up and down the country fell over themselves to claim they saw him first and to peer into their crystal balls and predict fame, success and selection for next years World Cup with almost zero qualification.

Arsenal legend Ian Wright has dubbed him ‘The new Liam Brady’ whilst one un-named sweaty Arsenal fan was quoted as saying “he’s the next Theo Walcott mixed with Jesus.”

Some even went so far as to predict that he could cure Aids with the power of his mind and forgot he’d only helped Arsenal beat Rangers in a meaningless pre-season friendly, not single handedly taken on Brazil.

This is fictional. Copyright 2009 Crab Football. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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One response to “Jack Wilshire: reasonably good footballer

  1. Great site…keep up the good work.

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