Boa Morte Injury Throws West Ham Bench Tactics Into Disarray.


West Ham’s pre season preparations were thrown into chaos on Wednesday when winger Luis Boa Morte suffered anterior cruciate ligament damage in the Asia Desperate Marketing Trophy in China. (“There’s two billion Chinese here, someone must want a replica shirt!” – Daniel Levy.)

The 31-year-old was injured during Wednesday’s 1-0 defeat by Tottenham. Which  is literally insult to injury, especially as ex-hammer Jermaine Defoe scored. Worse still Boa Morte was injured in a tackle by Benoit Assou-Ekotto, which is the football equivalent of being shot by a blind marksmen.

“Well that’s the risk you run when you play Spurs,” said manager Gianfranco Zolo, “its a big blow for us, unlike them we can’t just buy 17 players for every position.”

The injury of course throws West Ham’s preparation for the debut Premier League game against Wolverhampton Wanders into chaos. “I was thinking about putting him on the bench and everything,” said Zola, furrowing his brow.

“At least Dean Ashton will have someone to sit with in the stands.” Added one journalist. Before having to sit Zola down and explain who Dean Ashton is.

“I have no idea who you are talking about”, said Zola in an earnst voice “but I’ll make sure I’ll look for him when I’m back at Upton Park.”

Boa Morte. Seconds before being tackled.

Boa Morte. Seconds before being tackled.

This is fictional. Copyright 2009 Crab Football. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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One response to “Boa Morte Injury Throws West Ham Bench Tactics Into Disarray.

  1. Fucking epic. Bare lols

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